Navigating the Minefield
by geradsredskittle666
Summary: Set before Atlantis. When you have social anxiety, a party really is a minefield. Sam, Daniel and John help Rodney when he has panic attack. Warnings: social anxiety, panic attack. Pairings: Rodney/ Sheppard friendship, Sam/Rodney friendship, Daniel/Rodney friendship. Warnings: social anxiety, panic attack, child abuse references, plutonic male/male affection.
1. Chapter 1

Navigating the Minefield

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG1 or Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters or other property. I write only to entertain not never make profit from this work or any of my other works.

Pairings: Rodney/ Sheppard friendship, Sam/Rodney friendship, Daniel/Rodney friendship

Warnings: social anxiety, panic attack

AN: Set before Rodney is sent to Atlantis.

START

It made him nervous to even look around the room. Not that he would admit that or betray his confident exterior.

It was a party of sorts...well a celebration of success. Members of SGC laughed over stories while more somber conversation was held between the high ranking, all suited up in impeccable stuffy jackets and avoiding controversial topics. It was a stark difference.

He tried to calm his mind, his thoughts were racing. He observed the room around him, making lists and calculations of anything that would occupy his mind – who was there and what rank they held and anything else that could work.

It seemed to settle him for a moment...until he almost bumped into someone in a very expensive looking suit. With his luck it would be the damn president! The stranger seemed to recognise him. "Ahh...Dr McKay? How are you?" they asked.

The tightness in his chest seemed more noticeable now. He should talk! He should say something...preferably not insulting. "Fine. I didn't get your name..." he managed to say. Good. Polite enough at least...

"Oh I'm no one special." they replied indulgently. "Your work at Area 51 was impressive...Hopefully it should set you up for better opportunities..."they said mysteriously.

Rodney tried not to look annoyed. They were probably special ops...maybe NSA or CIA or one of the damn anagrams! The 'no one special' laughed sounding very amused before excusing himself. Was that a good sign or a bad sign?

He needed air. Yes, that was what he needed. He quickly moved through the crowd, finding an empty balcony. He focussed on the cold air on his face. He still felt anxious and his chest felt way too tight but he could breathe a little better out here. It was peaceful away from the crowd of men stuffed in suits making nice talk or posturing. He could almost forget about the crowd inside...until someone spotted him again! They all wanted to either thank him or offer him jobs...even the ones that hated him as a person! He already had a dozen cards in his jacket he had taken simply to get away from the vultures! They looked at him like a piece of meat. Like a genius brain in a jar devoid of the person that he was.

He focussed on breathing. _In._ Good. _Out._ Good. _In._ Still much too tight but good. _Out._ Good. _In-_

-At least until his refuge was disturbed. He looked relieved to see it was just Sam. The vultures seemed to be happy playing nice with the other vultures they wanted to keep on nice terms with. She seemed to be looking him over, looking slightly concerned. He could almost hear her concern from here. It was loud. Even without her speaking. He flinched away from the loudness of it all. Well he could take care of himself! Yes. Of course he could!

"I'm fine! Just go back to the party." he snapped...well tried to snap. It came out slightly breathless and quieter than intended. More as a whine of desperation...

She seemed to be ignoring his protests. She saw through his act on the best of days. When his act was a weak as it was now? Of course she would see the truth! "Daniel, help me get him somewhere quiet." she instructed firmly yet quiet enough to avoid being over heard.

He was thankful for that. He didn't need his future job prospects harmed due to a simple panic attack! Nope, all those CIA and whatever's would look at the second in line for his sizable throne...probably Sam.

Daniel appeared, exchanging a worried look with Sam. "Deep breaths. Okay? We will get you out of here" he said softly. The gentle tone did calm him a little. He had to trust that Sam and Daniel had his back.

They managed to covertly support him, while he simply trusted them.

They managed to dodge most people. It wasn't easy. Almost at the exit, they ran into one. By the way he was being overly polite and how expensive his suit was, surely someone in government. But soon two others joined them. Sam recognised one of them as Dr Wier. The other seemed to be a good friend of hers.

Dr Wier smiled at them. "Cornel Carter, Dr Jackson, May I introduce Cornel Sheppard?" she said hospitably, her tone hiding her concern from their other guest. Sheppard grinned at them "Excuse us, I wanted to speak to Dr McKay privately." he said smoothly, though his intent was clear to the members of SG1. Sam relaxed, nodding her acceptance.

Dr Wier for her part turned to the government official. "Its lovely to see you again." she spoke. "How is your wife?" Sam heard her ask as they managed to escape.

GHGJKEDSFRIKOPQWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMQWERTYUIASDF

Shepherd helped them quickly navigate to somewhere more private. Sam studied Rodney again, not hiding her concern. That last guest had taken away the last of his resolve. He was in full panic attack mode now.

Daniel was already at his side, saying comforting things while keeping grip on his arm. It seemed to be helping a little. John was at the other side, keeping calm and helping to support him.

Sam was relieved, allowing herself to calm her own emotions now.

"Sam! Some help?" Daniel said as loud as he dared.

Sam quickly turned to Daniel. Rodney was almost passed out! She looked helplessly at Daniel who smiled encouragingly at her. He had settled against the wall as comfortably as he could. "Sam, Shepherd!" he commanded. "I know what to do. Just move him to me. Trust me."

Daniel soon had Rodney on him, easily supporting the other. Blocking out his friends, he focussed on Rodney. "Hang in there. Let me help you. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." he instructed. He received a weak squeeze. Better than nothing. "Now I will show you how to breath. Focus on me. You can do it." he said firmly. He received another weak squeeze. Daniel started modelling deep breathes. When he received another squeeze, he smiled. "Can you copy me? Keep trying. I know someone as stubborn as you can do this." he encouraged.

It was a tense few minutes that felt like forever but Rodney kept trying. Despite his weakened state, he managed some close attempts. This seemed to encourage him further.

"Good. Your doing so well. Almost there." Daniel encouraged. Rodney was relying on him fully now to support him. Yet his focus was strong...it was only a matter of time. A few minutes later Rodney managed to make his way back to reality.

Sam looked relieved but still worried. "Rodney, you okay?" she asked the now clearly exhausted scientist. Rodney hadn't moved off Daniel and was blinking tiredly. Sam brushed her hand against his arm. Finally Rodney whined softly but gave her a greatful smile.

"Get him home. I'll be in contact." Sheppard said before leaving.

GHGJKEDSFRIKOPQWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMQWERTYUIASDF

They decided to go to Daniels house. Rodney had fallen asleep in the car but managed to wake enough to get to the lounge. After that he slept so soundly that Sam didn't have the heart to move him. So Daniel covered him in a blanket and let him be.

AN: R and R.


	2. Chapter 2

Navigating the Minefield

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG1 or Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters or other property. I write only to entertain not never make profit from this work or any of my other works.

Pairings: Rodney/ Sheppard friendship, Sam/Rodney friendship, Daniel/Rodney friendship

Warnings: social anxiety, panic attack, references to child abuse (Rodney), general and specific distress, maybe 3 swear words, male/male plutonic affection.

START

Rodney seemed much better. He grinned as Sam placed a coffee in front of him. It seemed as if nothing had happened. Though Sam could tell that he was evading the subject. Putting up his usual front of being okay. Even if he wasn't. Last night must have shaken him.

Daniel emerged, hair sticking up and making his way straight to his coffee machine. Though it occurred every morning, Sam always smiled in amusement. She would never miss an opprtunity to playfully tease the archiologist. He was looking more human now he had drunk his coffee.

And his sharp mind was focussed squarely on McKay. The scientest was sipping his coffee, deep in thought. He appeared relaxed but anyone who actually looked, could see he was anything but. He was wary but managed to make it look casual. How did anyone develop such a habit?!

"You know last night? That was natural. Human even. It happens to many. Its nothing to be ashamed of." Daniel said, sounding deceptively casual himself.

Rodney tensed up. Then he exhaled and spoke calmly. "I don't know what you mean" he denied.

Daniel frowned but he would not accept that.

Neither would Sam, who also looked unhappy.

Though for now they would have to. Daniel put aside the fustration and got up. "Movie?" he asked.

Sam nodded eagerly. She turned to Rodney expecting an answer. He merely looked confused. She shook her head, she should have been more clear. Rodney wasn't used to the way her team communicated. Or how most humans communicated. She grinned "He means, what movie do you want to watch?" she clarified.

He froze. But quickly recovered. "Uh...anything is good." he managed, looking like a deer in headlights.

Sam couldn't help but frown as she looked him over. He was obviously uncomfortable, but he refused to admit it. Daniel returned with Iron man. A hero movie was a nice distraction. Usually they played the hero, it made such movies a nice relaxing event. Someone else doing the saving of the world (or galaxy).

Sam made some popcorn while Daniel put on the movie. While both were busy, Rodney was thinking. They didn't like him. Maybe they had wanted to save him, merely white knights but they were only obliging him. Making sure he was okay before letting him go. You didn't have to like someone to want to save them. That was a dangerous assumption. Just look at the way Sam had reacted! They both had expected him to understand but it was just not his way. It seemed like there was a key to a code to the world and he was born without one. Making him fair game for all the head shakes, disapproving looks and whatever else they thought he didn't understand. He had experienced it his entire life. It was not new. Sam disapproved. Still she was obliged to ensure he was okay.

He was watching the movie, trying to focus on that, instead of his thoughts. If they didn't want him there, why invite him to stay? They didn't have to. What if they were actually being nice, just to be nice? What did that mean for him? Maybe it was pity. Pity often lasted longer than the white knight complex. But he didn't want pity. He hated it.

He tried to analyise the data again. Maybe he had the wrong idea? What else were his options? A cruel prank? He doubted it, though it was still an option to consider. What else? "Earth to Rodney!" called someone.

He flinched as that someone put a hand on his arm. "Uh..yes?" he asked, hoping it was enough.

"You okay?" Sam asked concerned. She actually looked it too. Cross out "cruel joke" and "white knight" then. That still left "pity".

"Fine. I guess I might still be tired." he excused easily. That came natural to him.

She frowned but decided to allow him his lie.

He coughed, easing the tightness in his chest enough to be less unconfortable. He could get through this. Just play pretend and get through the evening, then leave to his own comfortable apartment. Yes. This would work.

The pair grinned at the movie, sharing some unspoken joke. They seemed to largely ignore him. He was relieved because it gave him some space but also felt hurt. They really did just pity him! Why should he stay? If they only pitied him. If they didn't even want to speak to him! His angry hurt gave him courage.

Daniel looked worried this time. He couldn't ignore it. "Rodney, you okay?" he asked concerned.

Rodney glared back. "If you don't intend friendship, why put on this show! Why put on this hero act? You want to save me! I garentee that will not work. You want to play hero? Well done. You did that already. Time to come clean! Or is this merely pity? You feel sorry for me. Fine. But don't assume I want that pity! Or maybe this is worse...is this a joke? Lets see how the evil mean McKay can be tricked! Do you want to see me cry? Or maybe you just wanted force me to break down? Appear mentally incompetant?" he accused angrily. Tears spilled from his eyes and he found his chest felt even tighter now. He was distracted from any reply when he found he couldn't breathe.

Oh shit! This was bad. He hated this part. It was terrifying.

He vaguely felt Daniel by his side, muttering words but their meaning was unclear. He flinched when he felt a hand on his back but the fear was quickly overwhelmed by a need to be comforted. So he leaned into Daniel, who allowed it. Clearly he had not taken the angry words to heart.

"Breathe. Just breathe." Daniel said sounding very worried. "Come on Rodney!" he urged. He pressed his face into Rodney's arm, and Rodney felt wetness.

Tears?

Rodney knew he couldn't abandon him now. He found it difficult but he managed to breathe, managed to calm.

He was exhausted and didn't move from his spot on Daniel. He didn't want to. Daniel just held him closer. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was angry…confused. I didn't mean to. Please don't be angry" he practically whimpered.

Daniel smiled reassuringly. "I know." he said.

Rodney looked at his face, assessing the truth. Daniel looked pale and he had been crying. But he didn't look upset with him. Then he turned to Sam. Sam looked pale and frightened but again, no anger.

So Rodney relaxed, refusing to move. He wasn't keen to sleep though.

"Want to tell me about it?" Daniel asked softly.

"I don't get it. Everyone else does but I don't." he replied quietly. "How is that hard to understand?" he asked sadly.

Daniel frowned but didn't press the topic.

"Everyone hates me. Even if they pretend not to. Worst part is that I can't tell who likes me and who doesn't. Its safer to assume they don't." he continued.

"Not true. You know me and Sam like you, right? We would never trick you. Sheppard too. He seemed to like you straight away. If others refuse to see that, they should feel bad, not you. They are missing out" Daniel assured.

Rodney looked confused again but didn't seem to dismiss the information. "I know you two are not lying. You only cry if you really care, you can't fake that. I cried once." he explained.

"It okay to be confused." he said.

"No. I hurt you because I was confused. Bad kids don't do that." he replied tiredly.

Daniel was angry now, but not at Rodney. Some idiot had put that idea in his head. "Well whoever said that was wrong. You never were and never will be a "bad kid". Its human to get emotional and "hurt" others without thinking. You are only "human". Did you really intend to hurt me?" he said firmly.

Rodney clearly didn't believe him. "I didn't intend to hurt you, but I did." he replied.

"And this person that told you such an absurd thing? Did they ever hurt anyone like that?" he agued.

Rodney frowned then nodded. "Isn't that different?" he asked.

"I don't see why not! What was their excuse?" he asked.

"He didn't mean to hurt me. He didn't mean to hurt mum. He just got so angry when we messed up! It was us that did the messing up so we should learn to act better, then he would never have to get angry" Rodney replied, almost as if reciting something.

Again Daniel felt angry. How could anyone hurt their child?! No wonder Rodney was the way he was! "Well If I have to follow that rule, and you have to, why shouldn't he?" he asked.

"No reason, I suppose." he commented.

"Good. Its a stupid rule anyway" Daniel commented childishly.

He actually laughed at that. Maybe it was!

"You should rest now. I promise I won't move." Daniel assured him. He allowed Rodney to assess his truthfulness before yawning. Soon he had fallen asleep. Sam found a blanket and placed it over them with a fond smile. Soon Daniel was sleeping too. He needed it too.

The morning brought a calmness that was rarely felt by either men.

AN: R and R!


End file.
